Marty. You look like a ferret. A really
sexy ferret.
--kentuckyboy823
I’m watching your show live right now. It’s good
to see Ulysses S Grant back on TV again.
--Joe M from Antietam, MD
Does your beard smell of almonds? I’m just asking
because my beard smells of almonds.
--Stan
You look seriously gay with that beard. Please
shave it off. Please. See ya at church
bright and early.
--Mom
Marty. You’ve been making me laugh for years.
I love your show. But your beard makes me
physically ill.
--cindy90210
Why is there a monkey on my TV?
--Carlos. Anaheim, CA
I just spent the last fifteen minutes trying to find
your show. When did Grizzly Adams replace Marty’s
Corner?
--Jerry
I like your beard. It makes you look like the
bearded lady.
--DenzelLover82
I am a shut-in. Your show is my only salvation,
the one beacon of light in my otherwise pathetic
existence. I have not left my house in three
years. But even I take the time to shave.
Get rid of the dead squirrel on your face. At
least I hope it's dead.
--GrannyHumper9
Marty. You’ve stolen my look. You will be hearing
from my lawyers. PS, buy my new book “Shine: A
Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Journey to Finding
Love.” You jerk.
--PuffyStarJones
Marty. What’s up with the beard? Are you
auditioning for ZZ Top?
--JohnG
Marty: 1. Otter: 0.
--DumptyWumpty
Isn’t it illegal to show that thing on the air?
--LeoF
Less beard, more chicks
--MagentaManny
Someone call George Bush. Osama bin Laden is on
Marty’s Corner.
--RushIsMyDaddy
Wow. Jesus has really been packing on he pounds.
--Fred
Marty, can I shave you?
--CindyMcCain
